Look Who We've Got Our Hanes On Now

NON-PARENTAL WARNING: This post may contain material not suitable for persons without children. Rated for bribery, bathroom language, and toilet-training references.


It's finally happened...an event three and a half years in the making. Parker is potty trained. Diapers have been the bane of my existence. I've heard people complain about having two kids in diapers. Two kids in diapers was never a big deal to me. I knew I was getting into it when I had kids close together. I always dealt with it just fine...but three kids in diapers is a whole other thing. I seriously changed diapers all day long. I can't even tell you how many times a month we were at Sam's Club buying monster boxes of diapers. I'm imagine nearly half of our income was spent on them.

Having a three and a half year old still in diapers was driving me nuts. He was old enough to understand, but too stubborn to do what needed to be done. It not only drove me crazy, but it was embarrassing to me. Spencer was pretty easy going about it. He kept reminding me that no matter how long it took to potty train him, he wouldn't wear diapers forever. When I asked Parker about it, his reply was always, "I'll go poop in the toilet when I'm a missionary." Great.

I had tried everything. PeePee candy...a jar of skittles by the toilet. That wasn't working. It was time to break out the big guns...a full fledged Blow Pop for getting his business done in the toilet. No luck. So here's the bribe of all bribes...A trip to McDonalds...with a slide...for pooping in the toilet. Well that seemed to work. Parker did a little business right away and off we went to Mc-D's. Only to go right back to his old diaper ways immediately upon returning home. He'd do his business in the toilet sporadically for the past few months in hope for another trip to McDonalds.

About a two weeks ago I had had it. It was time to take diapers away all together. Day 1...huge success. Only one accident all day. Day 2...just the opposite. I think he only made it in the toilet once all day. Not only was I cleaning up his mess, but Grayden had a blowout, Reid tracked in dog poop all over the house after playing outside, and Chief got into a dirty diaper and left a mess all over the hall. Awesome. Day's 3 and 4 were awful. He just did it on purpose. I'd ask him if he needed to go to the bathroom. He'd tell me no then pee on purpose right there in front of me and laugh about it. It didn't bother him a bit. Day 5...back to the bribes. The morning went great. I took him to the library in the afternoon with undies on and he made the trip accident free. Day 6...bad again. Day 7, 8, 9, 10, 11...accident free. We have run errands, gone to the park, gone to church, you name it...no accidents.

Parker still has to wear diapers to sleep and I expect accidents to happen, but there is no turning back now. I have never been so happy to have two kids in diapers. My walls are now ringing with the sound of "Moooommmm! Wipe my bum!" Ahhhh! Music to my ears. I never guessed I would be so delighted to hear those words. Way to go Parker!

Next project...working on aim.