Saturday, May 3, 2008

Saving The World...One White Bread Eater At A Time

The weirdest things happen in WalMart. Remember this? Today...another example...

I had been standing in line for quite sometime...of course I was. It was Saturday afternoon at WalMart. I finally get to the front...all my groceries loaded on the conveyor belt...and the girl behind me says, "Can I tell you something?"

I give her a quick look over. She's about my age, wearing a T-shirt from a Bare Naked Ladies concert. I liked them back in the day (probably still do). OK, she looked cool enough. What could she possibly have to tell me? I was having a really good hair day. I bet that's it. She wanted to tell me I look like a rock star or something. I say, "Yeah. Sure. Go ahead."

Eagerly awaiting my compliment, I hear this instead, "You really shouldn't buy white bread." What, what? Come again? Did you just tell me I shouldn't buy white bread? I should've told her I was planning to smother it with fatty peanut butter and sugar-filled jelly and feed it to my kids. She went on to explain to me all the scientific reasons why wheat bread is better for you than white bread. What did she expect me to say...Oh really? I've never heard that before. You can have my place in line while I take all my stuff off the conveyor belt and switch out this white bread for wheat and stand in a 40 minute line again. Really?

I calmly told her that I eat whole wheat, but my kids just really prefer white. (Parker is really particular about textures and colors and things...I'm just happy he'll eat something.) She wouldn't drop it. She was seriously attacking me for my choice of bread. I thought it was so bizarre. Why in the world was she so personally affected by my groceries? And of all the things in my cart, why the white bread? She didn't mention the Dino-Nuggets, the fruit snacks, the lemonade, or the bags of tortilla chips for our Cinco de Mayo celebration? None of that was healthy either. Apparently she's on a mission to save the world from white bread.

It was time for me to pay and she hadn't dropped it yet. I finally said, "We all do things we shouldn't sometimes." I paid for my loot and left. As I was walking away, I hear her ask the checker to double bag her stuff. I wanted to go back and tell her she really shouldn't use extra plastic bags...and explain to her why they're not good for the environment. But even with her double bags, I still used more than she did.

As if this story needs to get better...I always carry my groceries in and set the bags on my kitchen floor as I put them away. I was telling Spencer about my eventful checkout without paying attention to my dog. He had his nose in a grocery bag and had torn in to none other than the white bread.

15 comments:

jeanine said...

Oh my goodness! Some people are crazy nosey!

Kim said...

Is it wrong that I seriously dislike people like that. Although it is funny.

Amanda B. said...

What makes people think they are so much better than anyone else or that they are such a gift to human kind that they shouldn't hesitate to spread their wisdom and "enlighten" the rest of the world? What business is it of hers to judge the contents of your cart? People are so annoying...at least it makes for a good story. And the dog eating the white bread- that is too much- hilarious!!!!!!

Autumn said...

White bread is bad for dogs, you shouldn't leave it in a place where they can consume it. Kidding!! I can't quite imagine it all but I have to say that picturing it all unfolding is pretty hilarious. How long did it all last?

Jeffrey Benson said...

You should have asked her how she feels about supporting the largest proponent of child labor in the US. That would've zinged her.

Cynthia said...

I always thought critiquing other people's food choices in long check out lines was a good conversation starter, you know- to pass the time. Maybe I should stop?

Traci Elizabeth said...

Katie...these things seriously only happen to you, whats the deal?? You should have told her she shouldnt wear shirts promoting female nudity.

trentnjeanmorello said...

lol! okay, so I eat white bread, so does Trent. I guess we aren't healthy, but I have never had someone confront me about that at the grocery store! Crazy! At least your dog ate the bread!

Kelly said...

You are like a Wal-Mart magnet for odd things to happen, huh? I try not to even talk to people grocery shopping, and I think it is bizarre that people say weird things at the grocery! Whatever, as if the white bread will kill the children- did you not grow up on it, because I did and most of the time I think I turned out half way decent...Dana, on the other hand had it too, and look at him!!
Ha ha!

Erin said...

She is so lucky isn't wasn't me.

My reponse would have gone something like this:

"Well wheat bread would actually kill my daughter due to her allergy to wheat, so unless you think my child doesn't deserve to eat bread, maybe you should worry about your own purchases!"

So, she is so lucky it was you and not me. And I find it utterly hilarious that the dog ate the deadly white bread. What a good guard dog you have for your kids! :)

utmomof5 said...

Why so people think they have the right to tell others how to live!!! My kids are the same way, nothing but white bread here at our house.

While a am a fan of the bare naked ladies, I am not a fan of her. :)

Betheny & Jacob said...
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Betheny & Jacob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Betheny & Jacob said...

Well thank Heaven your dog ate the bread!!!! It could have been likely to kill you!!! Phew! ;)

People crack me up. You are a much bigger person than I. I would have said something like "Who died and made you my mother?" or "Who called the bread police?" or "Who the *#$@% do you think you are?" Yeah, like I said, you are a much bigger person than I. ;)

I've got a whopper of a Wal-Mart story for you...I should post it on my blog.

P.S. I love Traci Elizabeth's comment!

Pedersens said...

This story is GREAT! Made me smile. You have crazy things happen to you at Wal-mart though!