Sunday, December 12, 2010

A Lazy Parents Guide to Potty Training

Step 1. Resist the urge to potty train when your child is showing signs of readiness at an early age.

Step 2. Make excuses for resistance. IE: We're planing a trip and I don't want to potty train until after the trip, We just had another baby so I'll wait until things settle down, or Arbor Day is coming up and I don't want to be tied down to potty training during all the festivities.

Step 3. Wait.

Step 4. Wait some more.

Step 5. Keep waiting. (The longer you can put it off, the easier it will be.)

Step 6. Bribe your child. Bribery is the secret to every lazy parents success. Skittles for number one. Break out the big guns for number two (blow-pops, ring pops, air heads, trips to McDonalds...whatever appeals to your child.)

Step 7. Eat half the bribery candy yourself. You deserve it. You've been working hard on this potty training business.

Step 8. Take diapers away cold turkey. If you've done this correctly, your child is now old enough to just know how to use the bathroom without any training. They can hold it for at least two to three hours.

***This method is guaranteed. After all, no child will still be in diapers at high school graduation.

Yes, this means Gray is FINALLY potty trained. And yes, he is my third child to potty train at a late age. I used to think my kids were just late bloomers. But by the third late bloomer in a row, I started to think it might be me.

14 comments:

Kelly said...

Whoo Hoo!! No diapers!! That is wonderful!! What on earth will you do with the money now?! You totally deserve a vacation- by yourself!! You did, after all, potty train him!! Congrats!!

Traci Elizabeth said...

Oh good! I thought it was just me :)

way to go GRAY!

jeanine said...

HA! This post made me laugh... it's totally me! James and William weren't potty trained until long after they were 3... but it's so worth it to do it in a day with no accidents! I HATE cleaning up potty accidents. Maybe a girl would be different...

Hooray for no more diapers!!!

Cynthia said...

I had a daycare little boy on the olderish side who was potty trained in a weekend. That was after I spent MONTHS with each of my 4 kids cleaning wet spots off the couch, car, carpet, bed etc. I finally learned that they get it when they are older. Lesson learned, but a little too late.

mj said...

ha ha ha arbor day.

Jen said...

I think your method is the best way to do it!

Amanda B. said...

Yay!!! Go Graydon and congratulations to you on no more diapers!!!! :) Nothing wrong with your method- I did it the same way with my boys! :)I just got lucky with the girls (still did it cold turkey, but earlier and it went well). What a wonderful day for you!

Michelle said...

Glad to know I am not the only one who does this! That is awesome he is out of diapers! We have one left to go and I think 23 months is a bit early to train him but I am so anxious!

Randalls said...

Hmmm. Once again, I wish I were you. Congrats. Good luck over Hannukah with that. Most of those ideas actually sound like they might be Spencer's.

Edling's said...

Oh! I hear ya! We just finished potty training Sadie this week. Yeah, um, she's three. We had tried a couple times before and she just wasn't into it and I wasn't into scrubbing the carpet, so I never pushed it. Don't ya love not buying those big ol' diapers! Congrats Grayden!

The Patterson's said...

Your the parent do it how ever you want. You must be doing something right you have 3 boys potty trained. I think that is something to be proud of.

Melissa + Brett said...

AMEN! I HATE potty training and yes, I eat most the reward candy too!

Abbey said...

So funny gave me a good laugh, your not lazy just busy.

Autumn said...

Hey-whatever works. I'm not commenting on everything but have enjoyed all the pictures!