Monday, March 22, 2010

Finding Balance

I know everyone likes details on Mike's condition (I do too), but every last detail seems so personal. I can tell you that there have been some improvements as far as response. Mike is stable enough now that he is out of the ICU and not quite so critical. However, the CT scans remain the same; no visible improvements in his brain.

Finding a balance between having hope and facing reality is hard. The two seem mutually exclusive. If I have hope in his recovery am I setting myself up for disappointment? Or if I face reality have I given up hope? At any given point in the day I can be at either end of the spectrum. But I can't seem to find middle ground.

This is my mom's first full week back to work. She'll be flying out to Utah every weekend. I think she needs prayers just as much as Mike does.

13 comments:

Amanda B. said...

I can understand how tough that must be- I think any of us can't help but constantly analyze things we are facing and then worry about how we are processing it and what it means. I know God has a plan and I wish- and I know you do to- we could see now what that plan is. We will continue to pray that the plan is for him to be healed. I will definitely pray for your awesome mother as well. My heart breaks for her.

Genn said...

Oh Katie,

I can't imagine how hard this is. I can understand what you are saying. Feeling hopeful, but afraid to be too hopeful just in case. I will continue to pray for Mike's brain to heal, and for your Mom too. This must be really hard for her to get back to work and try to focus.

Thinking of you often. xoxo

Melissa + Brett said...

Katie,
I remember those exact same feelings with Andee. I think you keep hoping! My mom and I were just saying how truly amazed we are with you and your family. Your family has undergone more trials than any should! I know it's what has made you all the INCREDIBLE family you are. I know that you have been and will be so blessed by the tender mercies the Lord will bestow upon you through all those who admire you and your family. We love you so much and pray for each of your family members. I got goosebumps the other day as Tavin said the prayer and blessed "Michael Benson that everything can go better in his brain."

Jen said...

Thanks for keeping us all updated. I'm sure this is so hard on you. I think that you should always have hope and when things go a different direction then you deal with it the best you can and know that it is in God's hands.

Kelly said...

We love you, Katie...we are praying for you and Mike and certainly your mom too...you are constantly on my mind...I have faith that everyone will come away from this stronger...however that fits...stay positive- you are an inspiration.

The drama known as Greens.... said...

I love you. There isn't anything else I can say....you're all constantly in my thoughts, heart and prayers.

AshnRuss said...

I know that I would not be able to handle myself as gracefully as you have. You are a strong and wonderful example to me and my family. We continually pray for you and ALL of your family!
Lots of Love
Ashlee

Kris said...

Katie,
Your brother, and Mom, and Mike's fiance, and each one of you, will remain in my prayers. We have all been thinking of you so much. Little improvements are great news. Hoping your Mom can keep her strength up. This will be very trying for her. As Mom's we all know we would do whatever it took to take care of our kids.....anything.
Much love,
Kris

The drama known as Greens.... said...

Me again....maybe you can find balance in blogging. I've been thinking, and praying, and thinking and praying and the thought keeps coming to my mind to suggest you blog about life with Mike. Post old pictures and favorite memories...it may create that balance you're looking for. It wouldn't take away your hope but would distract your mind from the horror of what's going on. I don't know, for me memories carry me through the hardest of times. Just a suggestion. Like everyone else, we're praying night and day for all of you!

xoxo

Em

Nicole said...

((hugs)) Lots and lots of them. Your family continues to be in my prayers.

Clarks said...

We are praying for you and your family.

jeanine said...

I agree with Melissa... I think you keep hoping! Mike (and the rest of your family) continues to be in our prayers.

Autumn said...

Good thoughts. When I've found myself thinking of your situation and how you might be feeling/what you might be feeling, I find myself thinking the same thing about the hope thought process. I will continue to pray for all of your family.