You probably don't know this about me, but I have been offered every job I've ever interviewed for. Getting the interview is the hard part. I'm not sure I can sell myself on paper. But once I accept that first handshake, I know I have it in the bag.
Maybe it stems from my (over)confidence. From the time I step foot in that office (or even get the call to set up the interview) I honestly believe that I'll get the job. I think I'm good at reading people and knowing what they want to hear. I actually like interviews. I'm kind of self centered that way. I get undivided attention while talking about myself...my favorite topic of conversation.
I had a job interview a couple weeks ago. Parker's school was looking for a Parent Consultant. Each school in our district hires two of them. It's quite similar to PTN (PTA/PTO). The main focus is to get parents involved and informed. Only it's a paid job. (SCORE!) The job description said ten hours a week. (SCORE AGAIN!)
I've been looking for a job like this since I made the big leap into the stay at home mom world. Plus, as an added bonus, I'd be in Parker's school...getting to know all the staff and parents of his friends. It was a win-win situation.
This job only opens up ever five years or so. I very honestly felt like it was fate that this job opened up the same time I had a kid start school here. I felt very, very inspired to apply and truthfully, very inspired that it would be mine. It was perfect on every level.
I applied, interviewed, and naturally, was offered the job.
Only, in the interview, I learned some things about the job that just didn't rest well with me. The other Parent Consultant has no kids at home and devotes her life to this job. She is at the school ALL THE TIME. She has her hands in everything. She puts in significantly more than the allotted ten hours. She sat on the interview committee and told me she didn't expect everyone to commit as many hours as she did. But she did expect (as did the rest of the committee) who ever they hire to put in a full work week when they do fund raisers, or book fairs, or have holiday plans, or special events. And it turned into full work weeks (or two or three) every five weeks. This other consultant sort of set a precedent for committing to extra work.
While I can see how that benefits the school and really, I'm willing to volunteer time at my kids school, I'm not really ready to commit to working so many hours with two kids at home. I thought and thought and thought about this the next day and a half.
Can I really be the kind of mom I want to when I'm gone so many hours? I was ready to leave my kids ten hours...what's a full week every now and then? But it's not just me it's affecting. Would so many hours away start to take a toll on my younger two kids? If I could leave them with Spencer it wouldn't even be a question. I'd work full time if Spencer was home. And frankly, they're not paying nearly enough for me to afford a babysitter more than ten hours a week (though a very generous friend offered to accommodate me on that one). But do I want to drop my kids off with a friend all the time? Is this what I want them to remember of their preschool years? Lots of good parents work and it works for them. Could it work for me?
When I got called (as I knew I would) with a job offer, I told them I would take the job if they were willing to accept me at the ten hours a week they were paying me for (only I said it much nicer in a well thought out speech including an explanation). They kindly told me they understood and thanks but no thanks.
I was hoping to be indispensable to the school. That they'd want me so bad they would accept my terms. No luck. And I'm irritated. I'm irritated that it's a ten hour a week job and they wouldn't hire me because I didn't want to commit to more than ten hours a week.
And I'm sad. I got off the phone with the principal and cried for two days. I'm in a slump. Though nervous, I was really looking forward to being a working girl again. And I was excited to be needed outside the home. I could use a dose of that these days. I'm kinda tired of everything in my life revolving around kids...even my church calling. I've been second guessing myself left and right. Am I crazy for turning it down? If it was as inspired as I thought it was, why am I sitting home feeling sad rather than starting a new job?
It's probably my bad attitude about cookie dough sales.