Monday, July 21, 2008

McDonalds Mishap

I haven't entertained with a good story about my crazy life in quite sometime. Truth is, I tried to block this story from my memory. But last week my mom took the crazies to a fast food playland and the memories flooded my mind. So sit back and enjoy. My pain is your entertainment.


On the second day of our drive to Utah, Spencer and I decided to stop for lunch at "McDonalds with a slide," as my kids like to call it. They had been cooped up in a car for a day and a half and could really use the time to get some energy out. Spencer and I had finished our meals and the older two were busy crawling, sliding, running and climbing. We needed to put gas in the car before we were back on our way. I suggested Spencer going to get the gas and coming back to get us so the kids could play a little longer. He asked if I was sure I could handle it. Of course I could...I handle three kids alone all the time. That's my life. And this time, the older two were content to play on the playground, which only makes life easier. So Spencer left for what would be the longest fifteen minutes of my life.

Parker came down to use the bathroom shortly after Spencer left. Luckily, the playground had an individual bathroom right there. I peeked my head inside but sent Parker in alone. Moments later I heard Reid whining from the top of the playground. I tried to coax him down from ground level, but he started to cry a little harder. The bolt on his prosthetic leg was caught on the playground net. Just then, Parker came out of the bathroom stall
completely naked from the waist down with a request for me to wipe his bum.

I looked around...the only other people there were two men with a brood of children each. They were exactly the kind of men you'd expect to meet in a small town in the middle of nowhere...big and burly with mountain men facial hair and plaid flannel shirts with the arms torn off. They were there with their kids so I assumed they were capable of helping me out, but was sure they would not be interested. I quickly assessed the situation and decided the naked child took priority over the crying child at this moment. Reid was stuck, but safe.

I scooped Gray out of the high chair so he wouldn't try to get out and fall or choke on any of the food still at our table and I left him to crawl around the nasty bathroom floor. There may have been other options but I couldn't think quick enough. I expected to wipe quickly and get to Reid. But of course it could not have been one quick wipe. This was a messy one. I had to stop periodically to keep Gray from getting into anything too disgusting and to poke my head out to make sure Reid (who is now hysterical) hadn't passed out. He has been known to pass out from crying before.

About 300 wipes later...I left Parker in the bathroom and made him swear on his life not to come back out until he was fully clothed and his hands were thoroughly washed. I found a new high chair for Gray. The previous one had a broken seat belt and if I am going to leave him unattended, he had to be properly strapped in...and scooted far enough away from the table that he won't try to eat anything he shouldn't. At this point, I hitched up my pants and shimmied myself right on up the playland. I unhooked Reid who was way too upset to climb down himself. I had to squeeze my large self and my two year old back down this contraption.

I got down just as Parker was coming out of the bathroom. I got Reid settled down and cleaned all four of us from head to toe with the lethal combination of wipes and Germ-X. Everyone was finally calm, happy and sitting at the table finishing lunch when Spencer came through the door. I blurt out, "Oh, now you're here!" The two unhelpful men who had sat back and watched the whole thing bursted out in laughter...which luckily made me laugh too. Otherwise, there would have been tears.

24 comments:

Genn said...

Oh Katie, I am sorry! What an experience at McDonald's! You did good kid. I think you made the right choices with who to attend first. And of course Parker couldn't have a quick wipe that time! And poor Reid. I bet that scared him. And poor you for having to do it all alone! I don't know what's worse, Gray crawling around on the bathroom floor, or having to crawl up into that playland yourself! Glad everyone wound up being okay. Where are those husbands when you really need them!

Traci Elizabeth said...

As I was reading this, I thought.. this would only happen to Katie.
Then I realized, yes it would because you are the only one with a son who could get his prosthetic leg caught in a net... but it would only happen to you that all of that happened at once. I don't know why but you are a magnet for craziness...but great stories!!

I am amazed at all that you accomplish. I hate to even go out except for the weekends when cameron is home, for fear of some sort of mishap with my kids. You handle everything with a grace and humor that I wish I could.

Amanda B. said...

That.Is.Halarious!!!!! And, I can totally relate (minus the stuck prosthetic....) I can feel your pain and yet can't stop laughing at the same time. :) I know it wasn't funny at the time, but definitely a good story to record to remind your little crazies what they once put you through. I have totally had similar situations happen to me! :) Good for you for managing a laugh! :)

Suzanne said...

What a great story- I could visualize it all so well! I only wish I was there with those burly men to watch you handle it all! I think most of us mom's have had similar situations and at the time think we are going to die but luckily it gives us a good laugh or at least a good story once all is said and done. Isn't life with 3 kids great:)

Lauri said...

I laughed almost as hard while reading it as I did when you told me of this experience. Forget about writing a book; your life needs to be a sitcom.

jeanine said...

Oh WOW Katie! That will be a good story for years to come... and you should seriously write a book about your life!

Lisha said...

Why don't these things ever happen to the husbands? Sorry Katie, you have my sympathies. It is a great story though.

Kelly said...

You and public places- um, Walmart?! You are too funny, and I have witnesses incidents like this before, but never have I laughed so hard- sorry, couldn't help it, but could so visualize every move you made!
Glad all is well, and just rest assured that if that happened when Dad was on the job, who knows how it would've turned out!!
That is why the men didn't help!!

utmomof5 said...

I am laughing with you not at you!! Sounds like you handled it as well as any mom would have. No one is permanatly damaged and you have a fab story to tell!! :)

trentnjeanmorello said...

WOW!!! I do have to admit that is a funny story...I am laughing!!! Kids can be SO funny...

Kipn n' Sarah said...

Maybe things like this happen to you because you are so stinkin good at telling stories that god had to give the stories to someone that could do something amazing with them.
Sounds like an event! The best part is that first of all it sounds like a movie or something of the sourt and second the BEST PART is that in the end you are all calmly sitting at the table like nothing ever happened when your husband comes in, CLASSIC!
You crack me up!

Cynthia said...

Where are the accompanying photos???? haha

Kelly said...

Oh my! Glad it was you and not me! I would have lost it! And shame on the old men for not helping you!

Emilee said...

how funny, omg! U r such a trooper and a great mom!
Em!

Betheny & Jacob said...

Of course this happens to you! I remember one day at McDonalds, Ryan came out with poop dripping down his legs and no pull-up on...I kind of freaked and ran him back into the bathroom along with my Lizzy who was playing on the playground. This old couple just started laughing at me as if they were glad to not have to go through that anymore...

Traci Elizabeth said...

How are your 101 things coming along??

Abbey said...

I love all your stories about your crazies. I could picture that all playing out. Isnt that the luck of you, I am glad that you survived. You crack me up, it is amazing how you handle everything. You are one strong cookie.

Erin said...

Alright you win the most embarrassing playyard experience. I thought I had some bad ones, but this one beats all of mine.

And now that I have said and thought it I will probally surpass this momnet soon! :)

Kris said...

That should be in your first book Katie!!!!!
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!!

Kris said...

That should be in your first book Katie!!!!!
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!!

nicole said...

Katie, I am Traci's sister in law and I read your blog sometimes.I had to add a comment this time and say that was a HALARIOUS Story at your expense. I was laughing through the whole story. I think everyone can relate to that story a little or maybe ALOT.

Heidi said...

OH MY GOODNESS! that is one crazy story! Im not too sure about the multiple kids thing yet...

You're too good!

Danielle said...

Katie you are way too funny. Your storytelling skills are fabulous-I can totally relate!

rachel said...

Oh my heavens. That is hilarious! I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard. Oh man.