Saturday, December 8, 2007

Secret Life

I've mentioned before that Ohioans are fanatics about Buckeye football, but really they're fanatic about anything to do with Ohio State and athletics. There was a girl who played on the OSU basketball team that went on to play in the WNBA named Katie Smith that people out here adore.

I got a phone call a few days ago that went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Psycho Stalker: Is this Katie Smith?
Me: Yes.
Psycho Stalker: Is this the Katie Smith from Logan, Ohio?
Me: Nope. Not me.
Psycho Stalker: You're not Katie Smith the basketball player?
Me: Afraid not.
Psycho Stalker: I bet you get phone calls like this all the time.
Me: Not really. (You're the only psycho stalker who calls every Katie Smith in the phone book until you find the Katie Smith.)
Psycho Stalker: You don't happen to have her phone number do you?
Me: Seriously? No. I don't. (Logical...because my name is Katie Smith I have a direct line to all other Katie Smith's in the world and I give out the phone numbers of all the famous ones to any random psycho stalker who asks for it.)
Psycho Stalker: Well thanks any way. (At least he was polite.)

I have been asked by lots of random people on the phone if I was the Katie Smith... telemarketers, people from Kidney Foundation, policemen trying to get donations for name it. But they typically have a purpose for calling other than to ask if I'm Katie Smith the basketball player.

I've even get asked in person all the time. Places like the bank, the pharmacy, Pizza Hut...any where I give out my full name. Right. Like anyone could see my 5 ft 8in frame and my lumpy build (lumpy in a way that only a mother of three can achieve) and confuse me for a WNBA star. Did you see the size of her arms? My arms may be that big around, but it's certainly not because they're toned.

In conclusion...Yes I am the Katie Smith. The Katie Smith, Wife of Spencer, Mother of three, Domestic Goddess Extraordinaire. But not Katie Smith the basketball player. So for any random psycho stalker who reads this blog in hopes I am her, you may now cease reading this blog. I am not now, nor have I ever been a basketball player. (Except one brief season when I warmed the bench on my high school freshman basketball team.)


Lauri said...

HMmmm, wonder what he would have done if you'd said yes.

Autumn said...

HA!!! That is TOO funny. That would have been great if you would have gone with it. You probably could have agreed to sign something and made some cash!

DKALC2007 said...

I have met the real Katie Smith you are talking about and don't worry, she has nothing on you! Seriously, she is not that exciting! She certainly cannot write blogs like you!

Traci Elizabeth said...

Thats odd, I thought that picture was you.....=)

jeanine said...

Too funny! I can't believe someone would have the time and nerve to call every Katie Smith...

Pedersens said...

this story was HILARIOUS! and it would only happen to you! so funny.