Cruel, Cruel World

While I appreciate the influx of compliments, I'm not exaggerating the weight gain. Why do you think I chose that picture? Why in the world would I choose a picture that makes me look fat over one that makes me look thin? A picture of my profile is much more flattering than a front on picture. So I'm choosing to post another picture to portray my full cheeks (and to show Traci another angle of my new do). Once again, although I took several pictures of myself, I still can't help but choose the one that makes me look best. The fattest pictures just can't be published on the internet. Why do you think I only posted a picture from the neck up? I didn't even want my arms in there. My face is currently the thinnest part of my rapidly growing body. I weigh significantly more than I did at the end of my last pregnancy and I still have four weeks to go. I've out grown the majority of my maternity clothes and get at least one of the following comments every time I leave the house:

• Are you sure there aren't twins in there?
  
• Wow! You've really popped.
• You've gotten huge.
  
• You really have 4 weeks left?
• You look miserable.
  
• You look like you're ready to pop.
• Are you sure you didn't mis-calculate your due date?
• Don't you just feel huge?
  
• You really look pregnant. (DUH!)
  
• You're still here?
  
• You poor thing.

Yes, I'm huge and still here, not having twins and am not about to pop, at least not for a few more weeks. People really make comments like that. It's a cruel world. I'll see if I can bear to post a full length picture closer to the end so you all can agree with the previous comments. If nothing else, I'm sure you'll think, 'You poor thing.'

The boys love the photo booth option on the new computer. Parker can pose and make goofy faces in that thing all day if I'd let him. You can see yourself on the screen when the picture is being taken. I'm not quite sure what pose he's doing there, but it was one of the few we took that he hadn't crowded Reid out completely. Reid looks to tiny being squished between us. He's not really that small. The boys didn't have their hair fixed yet and it's really not flattering. But I'll post it anyway.

Down in Fraggle Rock

We got a new computer yesterday with a camera built in. So now since I have my own personal photo booth, you can see exactly what I look like when I post my blogs. And that's the exact face I'm making while I'm typing.

I went in for a hair cut on Saturday and wanted something new. Being pregnant, there's not much I can do to add a little spice to my look. Spicy maternity clothes are hard to come by. And with my feet swollen to a size 11 wide, I can't even add a little fashion in my footwear. Except for a great pair of black and white polka dot church shoes...which were a sweet find...I don't leave the house without flip flops or something of the sort. So my hair is all I have. And I don't have a lot to work with. As a dear college room mate once pointed out, I have "low quality" hair. I've been sick of looking ten years older than I am. People who tend to compliment my hair are much closer to my moms age than my own. I needed change. And short hair really isn't the look of twenty-somethings these days, but it's my only option. So since the rest of my family is currently sporting the faux hawk, I thought I'd join the Smith family rage and sport the feminine version myself. The picture is from the side and you don't quite get the whole effect, but I'm pretty happy with it. I'm still trying to figure out how to fix it and get it to stand up just the right amount. I'm a little nervous it won't grow out well. But I think I'm on the right track. And If I'm not, at least it makes my face appear thinner.

Spencer graduated Magna Cum Laude this weekend and is now the proud owner of a master's degree. Graduation was a little long in a small stadium seat not quite big enough for an eight month pregnant wife of a graduate. I had to sit there for nearly four hours and since Parker and I were Spencer's only fans there, I couldn't even leave early or have anyone to save my seat while I stretched my legs. It was a rotten few hours, but worth it for all the work Spencer's put in. I'm proud of him myself. And to graduate with such a fantastic GPA from such a great school is quite an accomplishment.

Does anyone remember Fraggle Rock? Thanks to Columbus Public Library, we have (temporarily) in our possession season 1 on DVD. We've checked it out a few times now. My kids love it. Who knew Fraggle Rock would turn out to be a timeless classic? But with a theme song like theirs, they deserve to be a classic. I think I'd like to adopt it as my new motto in life. So I'll close my blog with words to live by from the Fraggles:

Dance your cares away.
Worries for another day.
Let the music play.
Down in Fraggle Rock.

Notes From the Complaint Department

Now that delivery is less than 5 weeks away, it's once again time for a complaint. Well not A complaint, as in one...I have lots of complaining to do.

First of all, we're having nastier weather than Ohio has seen in decades. Not only is the heat through the roof, but so is the humidity. I break a sweat just getting my mail...and my mail box is just a half an arms length from my front door. I hate to leave my house at all. I was warned that summer pregnancy can get unbearable, but I had no idea what to expect. And humidity is so much worse than dry heat. There's no escaping it. It follows you under the shade and into the house and everywhere. I'm hoping all my extra swelling is a direct result of this awful weather and not extra weight gain. I'm cottage cheese from chipmunk cheeks to my elephant ankles. It's seriously the grossest thing I've ever seen...reason number two for not wanting to leave the house. I hope that after the baby is born and cooler weather starts setting in, I see some drastic changes. If I find out all this fat is regular, everyday fat, I'll have to take drastic measures. Too bad I don't have another gall bladder that needs to be removed. But thank goodness for living far away from friends and family. That gives me a little time to loose some weight before I have to face anyone. And, no one has to see me in this horrifying state.

And if only the heat and swelling were all of it. My Braxton Hicks contractions are really taking off. So much so that we're considering Braxton for our sons first name. Not that they are completely debilitating or anything compared to labor. It's just a lot of serious discomfort. Then there's the acid indigestion and the nausea and vomiting...since when does morning sickness start in the third trimester? And of course the aches and pains in parts of the body you never knew existed pre-pregnancy. I'm living off prescription medication these days to dry to get some of this under control.

I remember being pregnant with Parker and thinking how miserable and exhausting pregnancy was. I had no idea. Being pregnant while having no other kids, or even one other is a cake walk compared to keeping up with two small kids during my eighth month of pregnancy. We'll see if I ever make it past three kids. If pregnancy with two is this bad, how bad must pregnancy with three be? My house is a disaster. The laundry sits in baskets for days before it gets folded. I've resulted to using paper plates...which is stooping pretty low for a dish lover like me. I can clean the bathroom, but not the bottom of the tub because I just can't reach. A lot of cleaning is getting seriously neglected. Yet another reason to live away from family and friends during pregnancy...no one has to see quite how sloppy I live.

And if that weren't enough, I'm highly irritable and impatient this time around. Which explains my rants about pregnancy. All my complaining certainly is not making it any easier. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. Somehow getting out of the house and doing something for myself tends to boost my spirits. Only an hour or so of staring at my fat face may not help this time. There are a lot of cute skinny girls there. Wish me luck.

The last few weeks of pregnancy can never go fast enough.

Tough Questions, Tougher Answers

Memories from Halloweens past:

Is it a little too early to be thinking about Halloween costumes? Maybe for most people, but good costumes are important to me. And besides that, I'm thinking I really ought to start on costumes now. I'll have three to make this year and Halloween is only two months away. And right in the middle of the next two months, I'm having another baby. Considering that the baby will only be a month old by Halloween, will I really have enough time on my hands between delivery and costume time? I doubt it. So for me...it's not too early.

I got this brilliant idea that Parker would be just about the cutest little golfer ever. And what an easy costume. Plus, a little out of the ordinary. And pieces like a polo shirt or argyle socks could be used again. Not to mention he gets some toy golf clubs out of it...brilliant. And while my kids are young, I like to dress them in themed costumes. Like last year...a pirate and parrot. I thought maybe Reid could be a caddy or a golf tee or something and a baby would make a great golf ball. OR I think Parker looks a little like Chicken Little and Reid would be a pretty cute Runt (his pig friend). I can see that turning out pretty cute as well.


But Parker is way too opinionated. At age three, he wants nothing to do with such a plan. He wants only to be a monster (the Frankenstein kind of monster). He'll have nothing to do with anything else. So do I continue with themed costumes? I suppose we could go for the classic spooky Halloween characters. Reid could be a mummy and the baby a vampire or skeleton or something. Truthfully, Reid would make a good mummy. It seems a little too cliche for me. But as classic as these costumes are, my boys would be among the few monsters out there. These days, if it's not a character costume, it's original. So do I go with the classic Halloween theme? or just forgo themed costumes and make them each something different? I do think a baby would make a cute caterpillar...like the fat Bugs Life kind.

While it may seem trivial, these are tough questions for a girl like me. There is no easy answer and Halloween is something I really don't want to screw up. Now if I could just put as much thought into naming our next child as I do into Halloween costumes, I'd be set. That's right. Baby number 3 is only 5 weeks from arrival and we're still playing the name game. What should we name this kid? We have atleast discussed it at this point and a couple of superhero names have actually made the list. Optimus Prime being at the top. Spencer and I have sat down three different nights to discuss it and three times Spencer has been snoring before we were finished narrowing it down. I get so frustrated with his lack of enthusiasm and interest, that I never want to discuss it with him. But slowly, our list is getting shorter. I'm at the point I need to pull the list out every night for the next few weeks and we should be set by the time the baby comes.

I'm not the kind that needs to be settled on a name before the baby is born. Neither of my boys had a name for a couple of days. Reid was decided on as we were leaving the hospital. I just want to narrow it down to a few and decide when we see him. I'd ideally like to have a couple of months to say those few names over and over in my head and out loud a few times to make sure I don't get sick of them. I unfortunately can not afford that luxury this time. Maybe I can settle for a few weeks. Wish us luck.

And speaking of unanswered questions...Why do I keep finding the mustard in unusual places around our house over the past few weeks? I caught the culprit red handed on Sunday. Reid is too little to open the fridge and Parker insisted he didn't do it...and he's good about fessing up when he did something. He's too young to consider lying about it. But on Sunday, I saw it happen. It is Reid. He waits until the fridge is almost closed and my back (or in this case, Spencer's back) is turned. Then he reaches is little hand in the fridge door and snatches the mustard right out of the fridge before it closes then takes off faster than you can notice anything happened. What a nut. And why the mustard?

The Care Bear Stare

So we checked out a Care Bear movie from the library last week (a little girly, I know, but I wasn't doing the picking and there's no use arguing with a 3 year old). So Parker has become Grumpy Bear and Reid FunShine Bear the past couple of days. Parker even included mom and dad in this one and I am now Too Loud Bear and Spencer is Messy Bear. I know those sound like made-up Care Bear names, but they are on the movie. Parker seems to have completely forgotten that I am Mom and calls me Too-Loud Bear all the time, even though he is Superman again.

This is not the point of my post. A couple days ago, I got a brilliant idea to get out the washable markers and draw their Care Bear tummy symbols on their cute little bellies. They thought that was the most awesome thing ever. So score a point for Mom. But now that it's two days and two baths later and there is still a hint of marker on their bellies, I'm not so sure I'm deserving of scoring that point. Not that it really matters and it is washing off, but they had doctor's appointments today. And it's a little embarassing that it was me and not them drawing on their bellies. I thought maybe I could just pretend it was them, but these perfect little pictures tatooed across their abs could never pass for a three year olds art work.

Aside from the unusual markings on their bellies, the appointment went well. Parker and Reid measured in respectively at 39in and 36in tall. Reid is catching up fast. Now that he's upright and the trauma of loosing a foot is over, he's really growing and loosing some of that baby fat. Reid is in the 95 % for height and 75% for weight, while Parker is 75% for height and 95% for weight. Which is a little hard for me to grasp. I think Reid is short and fat and Parker is tall and skinny. I guess that's not quite the case, but all in all, it's a pretty good report card.

Out Past Curfew

On Monday night, I experienced my first "girls night out" since I moved to Columbus over 4 years ago (no, Young Women activities don't count). It's not that I haven't done anything with other women, it just usually revolves around our children. I did have a visit from a fantastic college roommate, Heidi. And there's always the occasional visit from mom. As fun as those times are, they are few and far between. They don't make up for real life, accessible friends. An old friend I had served with in Young Women for three years moved away and was back for a visit. She got a group of women together. So it wasn't the women I assocciate most with. In fact, I was the only one in my twenties and still bearing children. But it didn't matter. I haven't laughed and enjoyed myself in that way...they way you do with all women and no children...for way too long. We went to dinner and sat there until the restaurant closed. Since we certainly weren't finished enjoying our time, we went out for ice cream and sat there until after the doors were locked and they kicked us out. And we got back to the house were we all met and stood by our cars for a few more hours. By that time it was really late and everything was funny and we just laughed. By the time I got home, I had to tip-toe in the house. I felt like I was sneaking in and had to have and excuse for being home past "curfew." It was nearly 1:30am, but well worth it. Heaven knows I don't get any sleep these days anyway.

There's no therapy like a girls night out.

Alter Egos

Parker has taken on a few alter egos this week. Actually, it started a little over a week ago when he insisted he was no longer Parker, he is now Superman. He doesn't just have moments where he's pretending to be Superman. He's Superman all the time. When we're out and someone asks him his name, he replies in complete seriousness, "Superman." When I ask him to do something, he won't do it until I ask Superman to do it. It's like he's completely tuned out to 'Parker.' It's as if he doesn't know who Parker is. When I say "I love you Parker" or "Thanks Parker" or anything to that effect, he gets mad and tells me he's Superman. So that went on for week, and then he started branching out. He's still Superman most of the time. A couple of times he's been Curious George. But my favorite and by far the most unusual, is Al Roker. He's been Al Roker the past two days. Yesterday I called to Parker at the top of the indoor playground and he announced that it was not him, but Al Roker driving the spaceship. The rest of the parents there got a kick out of that one. He found an atlas this morning and has been carrying it around the house telling me where it's going to be a "hot and rainy day." He also repeats regular phrases of Al Rokers. He's such a nut. I always hoped I would have a kid who did funny things like this. And I'm glad I do, but it is a little difficult keeping his alter egos straight.

While Parker has been busy personifying these characters, Reid has taken on an alter ego of his own. Maybe not an alter ego, but he's playing a serious game of "Do As I'm Doing" with Parker. Since they've been in the same room, Reid has followed Parker around mimicing his every move. If Parker gets out of bed, Reid does. If Parker wants chocolate milk, Reid does. If Parker sets his blanket somewhere, Reid puts his right next to Parkers. If Parker sets his sippie on a shelf, Reid will put his there, too, even if it means climbing to reach that shelf. If Parker is playing with his bear, Reid has to get his. Reid inevitably wants every toy Parker has. So I guess if Parker is busy being someone else, at least we have Reid here to be Parker. Now we just have to find someone to be Reid.

These boys keep me busy.

One Foot Advantage

I was bathing the boys the other day and they were sticking the plastic cups they play with in the bath tub on their feet. When Reid put the cup on his stump, it went all the way up to his knee. And we all thought that was pretty awesome. So then I started to think about all the other advantages of having only one foot and a prosthetic leg (which goes clear up to his knee).

• When he wears a cup on his foot it goes all the way up to his knee


• If ever he wants to be a pirate for Halloween, he'll make a great peg-leg


• At play group this afternoon an older kid referred to it as a robot leg


• He can only get a sunburn on one leg


• He has 5 less toenails to clip (and it's not an easy task clipping a 1 year olds toenails)


• He has one less foot to wash and dry at bathtime


• If he steps in a puddle with shoes and socks on, he only has to experience that sloshy discomfort with one foot


• When he plays in the snow, only one foot will be unbearably cold


• If he steps on something sharp with his prosthetic, he won't bleed


• His foot sits on a stand when he sleeps


• It won't hurt when he stubs his toe


• If ever he gets in a fight, as boys do, he has a secret weapon (it hurts pretty bad to get kicked by that thing...so far he hasn't done it on purpose, but he'll soon learn)


• People freak out when you pull his leg off to go through airport security


• He'll be able to play awesome tricks on people

• He only has half the chance of developing foot problems (ingrown toenails, athletes foot, corns, planters warts, and all the other gross diseases of the foot)
  

• When he's been wearing shoes with no socks, only one foot stinks


• He's the only kid in nursery who has one


• According to the latest Olympic debate, he'll have the "advantage" in athletics


• If you ever get paired with him in a three legged race, it will be more like a two legged race.

• He'll win any standing or hopping on one leg contest


• His legs are two different colors


• If (heaven forbid) he decides to wrestle in high school, it will be easy for him to "drop weight" - He can just take his foot off

• He can't sprain or break his ankle
  

These are all the advantages I could think of in just 5 minutes. Given more time, I 'm sure there are many more to list. It's pretty awesome. He's doing so well.